The Best Dad Jokes – Wednesday Wit

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The Best Dad Jokes – Wednesday Wit

I like terrible jokes, they always make me laugh or put a smile on my face.  While most people roll their eyes or groan, I try to commit to memory so I can make people roll their eyes or groan in the future.  Being a father of 2 now, I need to start archiving some Dad Jokes to bust out on them when they’re old enough to hate me for it.

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Dad Jokes are the best because everyone knows someone who does it.  It doesn’t have to be a dad, it could be an uncle, a brother, a sentient ape that thinks it’s hilarious, ya know, anyone with enough testosterone to not be funny.

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The most timeless dad joke of all time is-

“Dad I’m hungry.”

“Hi Hungry, I’m dad!”

You’re already groaning aren’t you?  Excellent!  Then prepare yourself for a treat, best dad jokes ever.

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Why can’t you have a nose 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

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Our wedding was so beautiful,

Even the cake was in tears.

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I just watched a program about beavers,

It was the best dam thing I’ve ever seen.

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What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He lout out a little wine.

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Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie

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Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.

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What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones

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Dad, did you get a haircut?

No, I got them all cut.

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What do you call somebody with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

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Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

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And finally, everyone’s favorite Dad Joke Meme

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Hope these brought a smile to your face.  Tell me in the Comment’s below what some of your favorite dad jokes are!

Happy Wednesday